


My everything

by orphan_account



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, Mentions of Character Death, Past and Future Selves, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Time Travel, Time traveler!Yuzu, fate is a lil' shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 04:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yuzuru just want to be happy alongside Javier’s side for the rest of his lifeHe's so pathetic.Except, Yuzuru can't stay away.Fate was sure enjoying his pain.





	My everything

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: This happens somewhere between Spetember-december 2020, when Javier is fully retired and Yuzuru is thinking about it.

Yuzuru is a shadow. A gosht. A wandering spirit.

 

Invisible to everyone other than himself - and only the present version of himself. The Yuzuru from the past he's currently visiting has not even a sliver of an idea that a version of him from the future is watching him. 

Or more accurately, watching his boyfriend. And soulmate. 

Yuzu-from-the-past is bright and happy, tangling himself on the hotel sheets with a Curly haired boy that will leave a burned out hold in the middle of his chest. And aburnt mark on his left eyelid. Yuzuru would feel sorry for him if he weren't holding everything he's ever wanted forever in his arms. 

How he fighted over the years for Javier's heart, and a silly event after Javier's retirement joined them together, discovering something precious. Yuzuru liked to travel to that time, his heart repairing every time he saw his first kiss with his soulmate.

"Habii," Yuzu-from-the-past murmurs, "I love you. I love you so much." He sais, petting Javier's chest , enjoying the feeling of strong abs against his hands.

Javier shoves back the strands of hair from Yuzu-from-the-past's forehead, making his eyes shine with the night sky's light. Javier smiles with confidence up at Yuzu-from-the-past and threads his fingers into his hair, "Love you more." A kiss in his past self's lips, smal moans of satisfaction coming out from his throat.

Yuzu's going to be  _sick._ He alredy knows how he loves Javier's french kisses, and seeing his past self enjotying the sweet and erotic touches between them wasn't that pleasant, especially knowing who was slepping besides him in the present.

Yuzu-from-the-past has no such inclination however because his face lights up innocently and sensualy as he leans down to melt his and Javier's mouths in another slow, burning kiss. 

Yuzuru is jealous of himself. This is a new low.

Javier's incredibly responsive - always has been. There's happiness in being that wanted, Yuzuru remembers. Javier used to grapple for him in bed, hold him close while he slept, and held his hand in public, even when they weren't dating, just for the sake of some confortale contact between them. He was ridiculously affectionate, and Yuzuru couldn't understand at first how, being the japanese man he was, didn't put a stop to it when that  acctitude could have been changed.

After that first kiss he understood why: he couldn't say no to his soulmate.

He watches Javier toss a leg around Yuzu-from-the-past's waist and slide his hands in his past self's chest before Yuzuru's turning into the hotel room with tears in his eyes. 

He's so pathetic.

Except, Yuzuru can't stay away. 

Fate was sure enjoying his pain.

——–

Fast forward ten years and a version of Yuzuru and Javier are still lying on a bed. Except this time there are machines hooked up to Javier's arms and chest and Yuzu-from-the-future feels an aching burning sensation in his eyelid as he sobs, holding his soulmate's hand in his.

The nurse around him grays out, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could."

Yuzu-from-the-future looks up at her and Yuzuru can see his own fury from even across the room. Javi had liked it; said it made him more alive, more him, "He's not dead, yet."

The nurse bows her head and steps back respectfully. Yuzuru can see what Yuzur-from-the-future is ignoring - the nurse is biting her lip and there are tears in her eyes. 

Javier will not make it through the night. The smal feather burns brightly, signaling the near end of them both.

Yuzuru's already seen the funeral and the moment when the post-funeral version of himself will nearly give himself an astham attack from crying until he couldn't breath properly before climbing into Javier's side of the bed, hugging and sniffing Javier's _España_ football team t-shirt until he felt asleep. 

"Yuzu, _cariño_?"

Javier's voice is frail and yet still so, so, beautiful, full of calm and still joyfull. Yuzuru can tell it's the best thing Yuzu-from-the-future's heard all day. 

"Yeah," Yuzu-from-the-future whispers into Javier's hair, "Yeah, Habi. I'm here what do you need, Habi? I'll do anything you alredy know it."

God, after all these years together and he hadn't still learnt how to pronounce his soulmate's name properly.

Too bad Yuzuru still likes it, when Javier laughs at his attemps, his smile bright like the sun. 

Javier turns to face him and he's gaunt - so different from the curlyhaired, Handsome boy Yuzuru has seen just seconds before, "Kiss me."

Yuzu-from-the-future  does as told, sealing his trembling lips with his boyfriend's chapped ones. "Yuzu, I know there isn't much time left, I can feel it" Javier touched briefly the shining feater in Yuzus eyelid, feeling the same burning sensation similar to the one in his lower back. "But please, please move on from this, I wouldn't forgive myself ever knowing you continue living unhappy because of me..."

"Don't say that, Habi. you're going to live, don't give up, please, please..."

Javier closes his eyes and replies, softly and weakly "I love you, forever and ever, in this life and the rest, don't forget that..."

Yuzu turns away as Yuzuru-from-the-future leans in, putting his head against Javier's chest. He has no intention of watching Javi's last breath leave his body before he absolutely has to. 

In the mean time, Yuzuru-from-the-future's screaming is vivid enough. He can feel his heart breaking slowly and painfully, though.

——–

He wakes up gasping with his chest hurting. Cold sweat shinning across his forehead as he tries to get his tumbling heart under control again. How he wished he could stop all of this and change his fate, but Fate wasn't that benevolent with his playthings.

Javier turns to face him, covers shifting around him as he lays a hand on Yuzuru's chest, "Babe? Yuzu? Did you travel again?"

Yuzuru lets out the sob he didn't think he was still holding in, "Yeah." He slides down and pulls Javier, warm, whole, healthy, safe Javier close to him and mouths at his neck, "Yeah, but I'm back. Thank God I'm back."

Javi makes a soft noise and his warm hands come up to cup Yuzu's waist. Yuzuru doesn't know what he's going to do without them there. How he's going to live. Doesn't have the courage to look that far ahead, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"You know I can't," Yuzu replies, "Against the rules."

He feels more than sees Javier huff a breath indignantly, "Time-travellers and their fancy rules. What a  _stupid_  rule, seriously."

Yuzuru nudges him weakly and drops a kiss to his curly hair, "I can't, love. Now, it's late, Habii. Sorry for waking you. Go back to bed."

Yuzuru still has a good span of ten years. 

Javier sighs, "I wish you'd just stop travelling. I think it'd help you, actually."

And how can Yuzuru do that? When maybe one travel might help save Javier's life. Even though he knows he can't change events, just observe, there's his irrational self - his irrational hope - that something can be done. Even though it can't. "I can't."

"You're  _obsessed,_ Yusu. It's not healthy. Yeah, all time-travellers do it but none of them obsessively check their lives the way you do."

"Habi," Yuzuru breathes harshly. He flinches at his own voice, however. He never wants Javi to be anything but happy warm ray of sunshine, "Please," he mutters, softening his tone, "Can we just go to bed?"

Javier concedes, if a little reluctantly, "Okay. Night, then." He hides his smile in Yuzu's neck and leaves a small peck in his shoulder, "Love you and see you in the morning."

"Yeah," Yuzuru chokes and hides his tears, "Love you more."

There's such a long pause that Yuzuru thinks Javier's fallen asleep while he struggles to come down from the pure devastation under his skin. He still has time. Plenty of time to map out Javi's skin and love him from the inside out. 

No need to worry yet. 

Ten, good, long years. 

"C _ariño_?"

Yuzu hums, "Yes?"

Javier shifts back to look at him, and he's a little shy around the edges, marveling in the small feather craved in one of Yuzu's lashes, "Are we- are we still - you know, together? In the future, I mean?"

Yuzu laughs, trying to hide his sorrow, " 'til death do us part, dear."

Javi's eyes light up and Yuzuru nearly throws up, his anguish pooling in his stomach making him feel sick, "Forever then?"

"You're my forever," Yuzuru mutters back to him, "You know that. You've always known that. The marks in our skin prove that"

"Mhm," Javier sighs happily, touching the small feather like mark in his lower back "Just nice to know for sure, yeah."

"Forever," Yuzu says to him again. 

His voice is hollow and dull.

Javier doesn't need to know... that's a burden he's going to carry forever... He'd be the one who'll change their future...

_Even at the cost of his own life._

**Author's Note:**

> There's been a wave of Yuzuvier angst.  
> So, I came with... more angst (I'm a bad person :3)
> 
> (Forgive me for the AUs and specially the soulmate one, but i just love them, ok?)


End file.
